Back on track with post #11 on day #11!
Piggy-backing on my last post about being enough, I want to write about what I want for my kids. Obviously, I want what is best for them. I want them to have good friends, do well in school, take advantage of the opportunities that are offered to them and do their best. I also want them to BE a good friend to others.
As is pretty common in today's society, however, I sometimes think that my kids are okay with mediocrity. Sure, there are some kids who seem to excel in everything. I know quite a few of them. Those that get perfect attendance awards at school, are moved to varsity sports in their freshman year, make the principal's list every marking period...you know the type. However, these kids are not the norm in today's world. Our younger generation is one that has learned to expect instant results and get a trophy just for showing up.
My kids are a mix of those two groups. They do not excel in everything, or in some cases anything at all. But, they are learning the value of hard work and dedication. They put forth some effort on everything they do, but not necessarily 100% all the time.
I want what almost every parent wants for their child...the best. Not necessarily the latest and greatest gadgets, but the "best" in their upbringing, education, and childhood. While these expectations are normal, sometimes I question my reasoning.
Do I want what I think is best for them or what THEY feel is best for them? Am I expecting them to fill a hole or a void that I personally feel by excelling in things? I'll admit it, I'm a little bit jealous of the kids who get awards for everything. I want my children to be like them. I want them to be "superstars". Obviously, part of me wants this for them because it would mean they are excelling. However, I sometimes think that there's a little bit of selfishness there, as well. I want them to be "known" for being great - maybe because I want to be the mother of "a great one".
Don't get me wrong...my kids are awesome. My daughter was inducted into the National Junior Honor Society last year, and in eight grade, has been swimming on the Varsity Team for two years. My son is taking three advanced classes while working 20 hours a week and still getting pretty good grades. My younger daughter does swimming, lacrosse, chorus, band, ski club and girl scouts.
It's just that I KNOW they can do better if they apply themselves a little bit more. Am I wrong for wanting this? I don't know. Should I accept them being "good" and not pressure them to be "great"? Will pressuring them cause them to become over-achievers and never be happy with their efforts? On the other hand, will letting them "get by" make them settle for less in the future?
Digging deep, I realize that much of what I want for my kids is really what I wanted for myself. Looking back, I realize that I could have done so much more if I applied myself. They say hindsight is always 20/20. I see the mistakes I made as a young adult, and know that if I had made different choices, my life may be totally different right now. But, I also know that the choices I made in my past have made me who I am today - and I'm pretty happy with the outcome. Sure, I want more and I want to be better, but I'm not unhappy. My desire for wanting more isn't caused by a current lack - instead, it is a desire to be a better person. So, my question is...how do I let my kids make the same mistakes - the mistakes that most young people make - when I have the ability to see the long-term effect? Do I sit back and watch? Do I force my feelings down their throats - possibly causing them to resent me?
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