Obviously, when two people get divorced, it is because they no longer get along. I did not expect my divorce to be a happy one, but I did hope that it could at least be civil.
My ex-husband was so angry with me for leaving him that he couldn't see anything beyond his anger. Everything he did afterward was with the intent of hurting me - emotionally. While I wasn't necessarily OK with this, I expected it and was ready to deal with it. What I wasn't ready for, however, was his continued attempt to manipulate our children into believing I was the "bad guy".
During the very beginning of our separation/divorce, I had to file for immediate custody of our children because I was afraid he would try to take our son. As things progressed, I filed for sole custody of all three of our children. They were appointed a law guardian who met with them numerous times to discuss what they felt was best.
I remember the first court hearing regarding custody. The law guardian was there, ready to make her recommendation. I was there with my mother and court appointed attorney. I was ready for a fight, but instead, he just caved in and said that I could have custody. I was shocked.
Our papers read that I had sole custody with visitation that could be arranged and agreed upon by both parties. Ultimately, I had the final say in whether or not there would be visitation. While I was pleased with the outcome, at the same time, I was saddened that he could give up on his children so easily. I was also hoping that visitation would be more concrete, as this just gave him another tool with which to manipulate the children. "I wanted to come get you, but your mother said no."
Before our divorce, my husband was a pretty good dad. He was involved with most of the children's activities, if only on the surface. I had really hoped for a different outcome regarding custody and visitation.
About a week after this hearing, he filed for custody of just our son. We went in front of the same judge, who obviously was aware of the previous hearing in which he just gave up all his rights. The judge denied his motion, based on the fact that nothing had changed substantially enough to grant a new order and that he did not believe in separating children unless there were extenuating circumstances. This is one outcome that I was extremely thankful for, as I definitely did not want our children to be separated during what was already the most stressful time in their lives.
Later this week, I'll tell you how our custody battle continued and how he tried to manipulate me, the children and the court order.
Thank you for taking the time to read!
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